So Much Grace

I recently had dinner with some friends in Colorado. I meet up with them every time I visit their city. And they reciprocated that last fall, meeting up with my family when they visited our town on the Central Coast of California. They are former pastors who are involved in (maybe dedicated to) sharing Jesus with a group of people who too often hear that God hates them. People who get yelled at by other people who think they are speaking for God. A group of people who hear how much their lives are wrecked. Every time we are together, my friends and I talk about our families and our memories; we talk about books and music; we talk about theology and practice; we talk about what parts of faith we have embraced and what parts we have let go of. Time with them is always refreshing, assuring, and delightful.

As we enjoyed our curry fries a couple days ago, conversation went to my dad, and the influence he had had on them. While in Bible college, she borrowed a vehicle from my dad. Which she wrecked. Calling my dad to tell him about the accident was cause for great concern and even fear. Having had a troubled relationship with her own parents, she expected the worst. My dad would likely be incredibly upset, expecting a full repair to this wrecked vehicle that Bible college students would never be able to afford, and expressing disappointment that she would never be able to outlive. She figured my dad was going to let her have an earful of understandable anger and outrage, peppered with the words “irresponsible,” “careless,” and “debt.” Through tears unrelated to the curry, she told me what my dad gave her.

“He gave me so much grace…”

Through the tears, she said that my dad told her not to worry about it. “So this is the first car you’ve wrecked?” he asked. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve wrecked plenty of cars. This is just another car. What matters,” my dad told her, “is that you are okay.” 

As she told me this story, I recalled the cars I wrecked. And how my dad reacted to my accidents. While I may have felt more frustration from my dad than she did, I still received that same grace. That same concern for his son more than his cars. Sure, dad was disappointed in me, but the wreck itself seemed to be enough guilt or consequence. Adding to that would not help the situation, so he just left it be as a fact of the past. No use yelling about history. Instead, he chose to make an impact on how things would be going forward.

On my flight from Colorado Springs, I thought about how much my friends do this for the community they are called to. While others want to debate and argue the details of these people, and how their lives are a complete wreck, these former pastors say, “what matters is that you are okay,” and they offer grace to people who others curse. If my friends yelled about these people’s history, there would be no hearing of the grace they personify. Too often, people yell more than they offer grace. And that destroys any path forward. And grace received should always instill an awareness to offer grace to others.

 My friends were monumentally moved by the grace my dad offered. Still moved to tears decades after the accident. A moment marked more by the response than the cause. I pray that their efforts in Colorado are marked by their response to this community. That they continue to move past perceived wrecks and whatever people think may have “caused” them,  and instead continue to deliver grace that marks moments in lives, in ways that they may never know. 

And I am also challenged to measure my responses to things in ways that will leave an impact of grace as opposed to a rehashing of what has happened. Being offered grace carries a responsibility to keep that grace alive by passing it on. And the funny thing about grace is that I don’t think you can offer too much of it. Ever. Grace attached to words like “until” or “unless” is not really grace. Not the type of grace I have received.

 When we focus on what has happened, all we do is report the news. But offering grace like my dad did, and like this couple now does? That is paving the way for something new. News is often final; new is all about possibility.

When have you received grace in a monumental way? Who do you need to offer that grace to as a response to the grace you have received?